...with gratitude. That's the way I feel right now at 3am sitting here at work, just thinking. As I've read your comments and talked to you about our baby news, I've just been overwhelmed that so many people care about this and are celebrating with us. Whether you know what this past year has been like for us or not, I've felt genuine love, concern and excitement through your words and prayers. I just feel so blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life. Just because blogging has taken the place of journaling for me, (and because some of you asked), I'll write about the past few months.
Where to start? I guess I'll just start at the beginning and try to make it brief, sparing some details, but I want you to understand how truly filled with gratitude I am to be over 12 weeks pregnant. About a year ago this month JD and I decided we were ready to start our family. I got pregnant right away, and about a week after we found out, I miscarried. Now I know it's a common thing, but for anyone that has to go through it, it's a terrible experience. What little time I had to think about the tiny life growing inside me was enough to change the way I viewed myself, and when it was gone I felt very empty. Just as I was starting to feel like myself again, I fell pregnant for the second time in November. I was thrilled but very tentative. My worst fear became reality when I lost that one too. It was all too familiar, and I was done being sad, done feeling empty. I could only fake a smile when everyone in my world was pregnant and having babies. I got a taste of what it's like to wait on the Lord and struggle to trust in Him when I knew that my desire was righteous. It's the hardest thing in the world to be patient when it's not in your nature. After months of frustration and alot of praying (thank you family) a miracle happened.
My cycles were going over 40 days, and many of you know how LONG that feels when you're keeping track, and it seemed like my body was messed up from the miscarriages and I wasn't ovulating. I was ready to try anything, and was about to take something that would start my cycle over, but I figured I should probably take another pregnancy test just to make sure. I was shocked beyond shocked when it was positive. I showed JD and we stared at it from every angle forEVER. I immediately got a Dr's appointment and started taking hormones and praying like never before. I love the comfort and promises that come from a loving Father in Heaven. Even when I started spotting, I knew deep down it would be ok. I went in for an ultrasound and saw a little grain of rice and a heartbeat, and started BAWLING! It was love at first sight. Between being paranoid and sick for three months, I've been quite busy doing a whole lot of nothing! My relationship with food has been very complicated because I can't live with it, and can't live without it. I'm beginning to hate it (food). Finally I can eat some vegetables and fruits again, so if I've gained any weight so far it's due to eating fast food (so disgusting). Work has been tolerable for the most part- I've only thrown up in a patient's room once, but he was unconcious so no big deal. I cannot complain about experiencing these signs because I've asked for them for so long. So, all I can say is that I'm so happy and grateful, and I'm praying for things to continue to go well so that I can meet my little one in February. Thank you again for your support and love. It means the world.
This trip was alittle different than most because we started out with our normal houseboat full of people, and ended up with only 5 of us for an entire week when everyone had to go back to school and work. Needless to say we had tons of fun over the 4th of July with everyone, and then we enjoyed being VERY lazy as we laid around, read books, ate lots of food, and occasionally went out on the boat or waverunners. 
Here's my cutie-pie who I missed like crazy for a week.
Two pregnant ladies and a gimp makes for a pretty boring tubing experience.
Jessie and Mikey
Christy was phenomenal.
Sarah and I, about to go rip it up :).
Lynn's Baby Shower
Growing up, Jess and I always had a love/ hate relationship. There was no one who could make me more angry, but there was also no one who could make me laugh so uncontrollably hard. I remember her sneaking into my room and stealing my stuff and me being furious about it. (Now I'm the one always stealing her clothes :) She was such a funny little girl. She always dominated me with her strong, sassy personality, and loved to be the center of attention. But at the same time she had a way with winning you over and making you love her despite whatever she had just done. I don't know of two sisters more opposite than Jessie and I. She loves to perform. She has a rockin voice and can dance like nobody's business. She is outgoing and makes friends easily. She would rather play than be responsible any day. She falls in love easily. She is naturally funny. She's a yellow through and through. (These are all things I'm not.) When she was little, I always felt a need to take care of her, protect her, make sure she was happy and had friends, and use her to practice my hair and make-up skills. We'd play Barbies for hours on end, and she'd cry along with her Barbie when something sad happened in our pretend drama. She would drive me crazy with her never-ending singing while I was trying to concentrate on homework. We had countless matches of tennis ball soccer in the kitchen and spent hours together selling lemonade and shaved ice on the corner. 
It was weird when I realized that she was growing up and growing into herself. She no longer needed me to look out for her and make sure her life was smooth. (Well, maybe she could've used my help, but didn't really want it.) She became the typical bratty teenager when I was getting ready to leave for college. The moments of uncontrollable laughter and closeness were pretty few and far between. She was into her life, and me into mine. I have always felt like I missed out on so much of her life when I went to BYU. Anyways, we just had a few years where we weren't very close. It made me sad, and I always hoped and prayed that she would find her happy self again and we could go back to being the best of friends.
Well, that finally happened maybe two years ago and I've loved getting to know the person she's become. She is truly an amazing person, and I have so many reasons to look up to her now. She is so quick to forgive and quick to love. I love her so much and LOVE that we are sisters so that forces us to be friends forever :). Love you Jessie and can't wait to come see you next weekend!
The best BBQ Chicken Salad I've ever had. (So proud of him!)
